We need unity in women! Last night I was watching the Espys (sports awards) with my son and I couldn’t help but notice how united the women’s soccer team was. If you haven’t seen the news in the past few days, our U.S. team won the 2019 Women’s World Cup for the second year in a row. Phil Jackson, long-time Lakers coach, has said that “The strength of the team is the individual member. The strength of each member is the team.” I feel these women truly embody this concept. Alex Morgan, one of the inspirational members of our women’s soccer team, won Best Female Athlete and in her speech she spoke of having 22 sisters; 22 best friends! That’s amazing! She didn’t exude one ounce of jealousy or division when speaking of, to and about her team. How beautiful!!!
Unity in Women Starts With Ourselves
As women, it is common these days to speak of our goals for women: equality in pay and in the workplace in general, physical safety with emphasis on sexual violence, equality regarding social status, etc… but we cannot overlook the idea that we must first start from within. I know you all know Michael Jackson’s song “Man In The Mirror” – sing with me:
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
To have unity in women, we need to come together; to start with the woman in the mirror and make some changes. Let’s commit to not talking down on our sisters! Not judging our sisters! Not gossiping about our sisters! Not backstabbing our sisters! Not picking our sisters apart! Not competing with our sisters!
Why are we divided?
Why do we do these things? Fear? Jealousy? Lack of self-esteem/confidence? Resentment? Please know that you will never shine brighter by blowing out someone else’s candle! Commit, starting with today, to learning the interpersonal skills (how to talk to others) and intrapersonal skills (how to talk to yourself) necessary to first recognize, then alter, your poor behavior. We can go to as many marches as you want (not my thing personally) but if you go to a march once or twice per year then do nothing to heal your soul and be a better person then how do you expect others to change? If you cannot change yourself then how do you expect to change others? Start with the woman in the mirror!
United vs. Divided
I remember a time (in my 20s) when I was insecure about having gained some weight and a tiny friend of mine said to me that she envied my size because there have been men who have turned her down for being too small and/or having implants. Huh? You have a perfect body! You look just like the Playboy models! She replied, “some men like that and some men think it is gross! Some men want some cushion for the pushin’ and soft, natural boobs that don’t sit unnaturally high!” My sentiment at the time was she was sweet for being so kind but her words were merely to comfort me and not the truth. As time went on, men would comment that all big boobs were gross (clearly not to compliment me because I have pretty large boobs) or something else that seemed impossible to me and I slowly saw the truth in what my friend said that day. Years later I learned she was just as self-conscious about being petite as I was about being voluptuous. It’s reality! No matter what we are – we pick ourselves apart! We think we could/should be better!
I have another friend who came from a family of women who told her she shouldn’t eat this or drink that almost every day of her life starting as young as she could remember. She remembers picking out bathing suits as young as like 5 years old and her mother telling her how wrong it was for her until she lost weight (she was a normal-sized kid; not chubby AT ALL!). Ladies… what the hell are we doing to one another? To our children? We need to start with the woman in the mirror so we can do our parts – just marching/rallying isn’t gonna do it!
We Can Do This Together!
This is my very first blog post and I really hope it offers some incite into the direction of my blog. This blog will take the direction of women empowerment through being our best version of ourselves so that we can be the best role model to the female generations to follow. I hope to inspire my readers to set standards for themselves to be classy, never trashy, and to realize there doesn’t have to be division between being smart and successful vs. beautiful (sexy, hot, glamorous – whatever word gives you goosebumps). I definitely think being appealing is important, as it empowers us and helps our confidence but let it come as a result of true self-care and not from a place of feeling that is all we have to offer to men or as a necessity to feel worthy or better than our sisters. On the other side of the coin, let’s educate ourselves. Being smart doesn’t mean we forget to take care of ourselves and it certainly isn’t a last resort! We need to let go of one size fits all beauty. We need to embrace our individuality and recognize ALL that we have to offer! Let’s start with the woman in the mirror and then come together, in unity, and do this! We’ve got this!!!
In addition to creating unity in women, please don’t forget to be extra sparkly and unapologetically you!